Close to You

We made plans to meet at the beach near the station this one night. I told you not to worry and to take your nap, that I would be there by the time you woke up. I arrived early at our destination and decided to sit on the stone wall that divided the beach from the sidewalk. I faced towards the shoreline watching the waves breaking onto the sand. The sun had just set, but I could still see colors of purple inching out of the ocean’s edge. It was a cool and refreshing night. The wind picked up and blew my hair from right to left. I gently brushed my hair back with my hand, my fingers combing strands of hair and my palm rubbing against my forehead. It felt relaxing.

I reached into my pants pocket and took out my cellphone. I checked the time and reread your most previous message to me. “I just left my house. I’ll be there in 5 minutes babe.” From then, I got up and started walking into the direction from which you would be coming from.

On my right, there was the ice cream parlor that you had talked about going to. Through the glass windows, I could see people in crowded in such a small space ordering their desserts. I remember coming here once before in the summer, right after a celebration. I do not recall what I had ordered before, but it’s memories like those that kept me thinking to myself as I was walking.

From a distance I could see you walking to me. I smiled, though you probably couldn’t see it. We were at least 20 yards away, but I was able to recognize you from afar. When we were finally closer to each, we greeted one another. For some reason, I couldn’t stop smiling but I knew that I was generally in a good mood and excited to see you again. We made small conversation until we got to the parlor.

When we walked in, I realized I didn’t bring much cash with me. You offered to pay for me tonight. It was only just ice cream after all. Though, I ended up paying for my own ice cream anyhow because I had just enough cash on me. I got caramel moose tracks while you got something soft-served, but I honestly can’t remember the flavor.

The woman who asked for my order began with, “What would you like handsome?” I laughed a bit inside, my ego rising just a bit. I’m sure she have said that to many customers, but it had added to my already great mood. She carefully scooped up my ice cream into a large bowl cup and handed it to me. You paid for our ice cream. I had handed you the cash for my share beforehand. Then we exited the parlor to walk along the beach.

We found a bench to sit and enjoy our ice cream. Again, we made small conversation. Laughing here and there while we told each other about our how are day has been. I’ve had a long day of driving and back-to-back errands. I sang a few tunes of Disney songs. Lyrics from I’ll Make a Man Out of You andA Whole New World to point out a few.

In the midst of our interaction, as we enjoyed one another’s company, I had the utmost desire to hold your hand. I couldn’t conjure up enough courage to do so though. I wanted to stop our conversation and kiss your lips, right there and then. Would it have been okay if I did, I thought to myself. I’ve kissed you before, but never in public. Not like this.

Nervously, I continued eating my ice cream until there was no more. You had already finished your soft-served. I threw out my cup and spoon in a nearby trash bin then we walked towards your house. You were leading the way and I followed in grief. I lost my chance to do something out of my own comfort zone, but I was also careful of yours. We talked while crossing streets in the dark night. Cars drove quickly on the busy streets, until we reached the more settled neighborhood of yours.

When we finally reached your house after a quick stop by the convenient store down the street, we headed into his apartment to drop off what we had bought and began to say our farewells. I stared into your eyes but slowly turned away. I couldn’t face you because I felt disappointed in myself for not taking the initiative. You came up to me and wrapped your arms around me. My arms wrapped by your shoulders. I felt relieved that we had this moment. You looked up to me and eventually our lips met. Both our eyes reopened after kissing and I bit my lower lip and smiled at you. You smiled back adorably.

At the door of your apartment, we said our goodbyes. You asked me to text you when I got home, so that you’d know I got back safely. I started for the stairs and you shut the door behind me. As I walked down the street to the nearest station, I felt somewhat at peace with myself. There’s something about being with you that makes me happy and I don’t think I could ever explain that to you. We may not be together, but I hope that we continue being close to one another.

- Narong

The Avengers cast